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Friday, December 09, 2005

Welcome to the Campus Ladies Blog! Aren’t you sweet to visit? We have been super busy acclimating to freshman life in the dorms, but we couldn’t resist starting a ‘blog’ when our Iranian friend Abdul explained to us what one was. It’s thrilling to just type our personal details and let them float around on the internet; it makes us feel so naked. Imagine opening your diary for all the world to see. The communal bathrooms here at school are like that. You’ve got your pants down and you think you’ve got some privacy, when three girls walk in chatting away. It’s like you might as well be doing your business right smack in the middle of the quad!

We want to document some of our experiences and observations about school. It’s a great way to let the folks back home in on what we’re doing at UMW. We apologize to everyone for not being in touch, especially Gail and Lorraine who’ve called probably a dozen times. Sorry girls, it’s just that life as ‘older’ coeds is so intense. Who knew you could take a scooter to class or hang a sock on your door to tell your roomie, “Stay away. I have a visitor and it’s getting intimate!” And yes, we’ve done some serious experimenting and we’ll write about it here. Right now we have to get to the ‘pre-party’ in Fudge’s room.  So welcome, welcome! We wish we could greet you all individually, but Abdul says that’s not necessary. If you have any questions about college life or even advice for us please e-mail us. Our addresses are ‘linked’ somehow. Again, Abdul set it up so we don’t have the foggiest idea how to explain it to you.

Good Luck! 

Joan and Barri

P.S. Have some fun and check out how we, as two forty-year-old freshman, translate popular college slang:

1. Clam Jacking – When a gal steals a fella that you’ve been eyeing and works her voodoo sex magic on him so that you’re left out to dry. This is the female counterpart to ‘cock blocking’.“Just as Barri was about to make her moves on Dutch, the 6 foot 2 ceramics T.A., a cute little red head cut her off at the kiln and clam jacked her.”

2. Crank Butts – When drinking a glass or eight of wine while cramming for finals, your roommate comes in and persuades you to chain smoke. “Joan stood out on the balcony cranking butts while Barri quizzed her on French vocabulary.”

3. Rock a look – Looking pretty dynamite in an outfit or having a really jazzed out accessory. “Joan turned a lot of heads rocking a colorful beret on her way to the cafeteria.”

4. Rip the bong – When someone smokes marijuana through a tube really hard, and gets crazy high. “The dirty boy with the dreadlocks would rip the bong every night and create a cloud of smoke in the common room so that nobody could study.”

5. You're being a Herb – Herb short for Herbert, is what you don’t want to be called because it means you’re being a real dumbbell and even your friends agree you look like a jackass. “Joan felt like a real Herb when everyone laughed at her Santa Claus brooch at the holiday kegger.”

6. Off the chain – Anything that is just sensational, from a hairstyle to a handbag. “Everyone agreed that the quiche the ladies made for the Developmental Psych discussion group was off the chain!”

7. A Shorty – A term most frequently used by big black fellas to describe their little hotty girlfriends. “Yo shorty, come over here I wanna git wit you,” said Jamelle to Rashondra, the cute little thing he just met at da club.”

8. What's good? - How are you? “Joan and Barri, trying to break the ice at a sorority function said, “What’s good?” to a clique of girls who stared at the ladies like they were aliens.”

9. Sweet hook up - A spectacular deal or bargain. “Because of Barri’s relationship with Virginia the cafeteria lady, she got a sweet hook up on an oversized hotplate for her dorm room.”

10. Denunzios – A funny term for your best friends or the folks you hang around with most. “Joan and Barri hosted an intimate gathering in their dorm room to celebrate homecoming with their denunzios.”

Posted by Campus Ladies | Permalink | Comments (80)


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Tracked on Jan 6, 2006 8:14:13 PM


clamjacking??? this is hilarious

Posted by: brommy | Dec 10, 2005 2:08:00 PM

Clam Jacking- now thats one I have never heard (and honestly hope I never hear again) ;)

Posted by: xtine | Dec 16, 2005 7:17:45 PM

"Clam jacking" is now part of my permanent lexicon.

Thank you so much! :)

Posted by: Corned Beef | Dec 19, 2005 5:47:22 PM

Finally,girls to talk to who know what it's all about!!!

Posted by: Beverly | Dec 20, 2005 6:57:21 AM

Miss Joan and Miss Barri, I am so proud of you for getting estarted! dis is already a kick-ass belog!

Posted by: Abdul | Dec 23, 2005 8:00:14 PM

i am male 32 years old i seeking female

Posted by: fares | Dec 24, 2005 6:09:53 AM

How sad that feminism is dead. Once the feminist dream was to allow women to go to college, equal with men to get an education. Now, young women go to college to show their tits for free crap and older women go to get laid by 18 year old boys. Perhaps, when the ladies are not trying to score, they might read The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan and figure out that what they are doing is not liberating women, but putting them back in a sexual object dead end. Pathetic.

Posted by: Ivan Poland | Jan 6, 2006 9:38:08 AM

Dude, Mr. Ivan, or Mr. Brad vatever, vat college did you go to? Nerd University? Ferst off, Miss Betty Friedan vas de ultimate clam jacker, so dere's dat. And secon, I tink de feminist dream is to be equal to de man in all areas, not just educational and occupational, but also sexual, political, and also for drinking de beer. But den again, I'm just a fereshman. Maybe I have more to learn. Ba de vay, in case you're vondering vhy I estill have my accent on de computer, iz because I'm using voice-recognition software vit my boolootooth, i'm not really typing at all. peace in de middle east betches!!

Posted by: Abdul | Jan 6, 2006 11:25:29 AM

I love Campus Ladies! This show is hysterical!!! The shower scene was priceless!

Posted by: Puntabulous | Jan 8, 2006 7:39:46 PM

You LADIES rock! I want to be on your show. I'm 41, post-menopausal, divorced, and ready to party. I could be your new roommate after you dump that cry baby roommate you got now. We could be like Charlie's Angels! Call me on my cell phone. By the way, are you two ever going to get to class?

Posted by: Redheadedqueen | Jan 8, 2006 9:14:05 PM

The show was great. Loved the extra video features on the site. I just hope it's popular enough to come out on DVD in the future; I'd love to get it for my friends.

Posted by: James | Jan 8, 2006 11:24:06 PM

Just found out Derek is a mass comm. undergraduate from MTSU; I'm getting my mass comm. graduate degree there presently--Alright!!!!

Posted by: James | Jan 8, 2006 11:32:31 PM

Love the show! I'm being perfectly honest when I say that I enjoyed the premier of this series more than I have anything on television in a long time. I'm not a big fan of tv in general, but I was sad when both of the episodes were over tonight. I'm looking forward to next week and telling all of my friends to watch also!


Posted by: Anne | Jan 9, 2006 3:28:13 AM

very funny show, the show sorta reminds me of the 90's lol like maybe 97 or something. my fav characters are barri and abdul.

Posted by: Shaun | Jan 9, 2006 4:22:02 PM

Derek is from my hometown, he's the sweetest guy you could meet. And as for Clam Jacking, that's awesome - but my friends and I already call that 'Cooter Bootin' :)

Posted by: Sarah | Jan 9, 2006 4:37:31 PM

I love this cracks me up until I'm rolling on the floor. I love the way Joanie receited poetry! "Put your totem poll in my donut whole..." that was HILARIOUS! ohhh I will definetly use.."You're being a Herb"... =]

Posted by: Yajaira | Jan 10, 2006 6:30:17 PM

I think Campus Ladies is the best show since "Hee Haw Honeys!"

Posted by: Rachel Q. | Jan 12, 2006 8:09:01 AM

dude put ur tottum pole in my donut hole. Now that is funny

Posted by: bobo | Jan 14, 2006 7:11:53 PM

My husband and I (he's typing this 'cause it's way too technological) live and work in Hamilton, NY. This is where Colgate University is located. The show is the best representation of campus life that we've seen since Virginia Wolf.
But to be really accurate, the girls should get jobs in the local sushi bar that's run by two fat fifty-year-olds from brooklyn....oh wait, that's us.
Anyway, just wanted you to know that we are telling everybody we know about this show. Of course, this time of year what with the "kids" being away on winter break, and all the snow outside the window, there's not much else to do.LOL
By the way, to satify those neeeds to get away, how about doing a "road" show that follows the girls following the football team? Let's say just hypethically in HAMILTON, NY??? With FREE SUSHI FOR THE CAST AND CREW?????
Seriously, this the best TV we've seen since I Love Lucy. Keep it up.

Posted by: Candi | Jan 15, 2006 11:19:27 AM

RE: slang term #6... My name is Herbert and I think it's a lovely name. Need I invoke the names David Herbert Lawrence, Herbert von Karajan, Herbert George Wells, George Herbert Walker Bush, John Herbert Dillinger...

Anyway, I watched two episodes of this show tonight and it is drop dead hilarious and quite innovative and the cast are all hugely talented. The actors who play Joan and Barri are geniuses! They are a ribald Lucy and Ethel for the 21st Century. Good luck with the show!

Posted by: Herbert | Jan 15, 2006 11:49:52 PM

I am so in love with this show because it is like you guys stepped right into my life. My best friend, Penny and I both started college as "ladies" in the spring of 2002. We have had so much fun experiencing the college life, much the way that Joan and Barri are. I am so delighted to see these two characters and can't wait to see them progress through college. Keep working it!!

Posted by: Holly | Jan 17, 2006 6:07:31 AM

Compus is a home of life, enjoy it

Posted by: ALFA | Jan 19, 2006 6:38:40 AM

Abdul, I am so in love with you.....You are so deliciously hot on the show and I just want to take you under my wing and show you many things....I'm a 39 yr old mother who would love to get ya in a compromising position. YUMMM

Posted by: DeEddra | Jan 21, 2006 1:42:11 PM

Crank butts - I did that last year with my good friend whenever we had exams or papers. Neither of us smoke. Well.... untill now. Watch out, don't start cranking butts or you may become a true smoker.

I LOVE this show!

Posted by: Erin | Jan 22, 2006 8:56:26 PM

Personally, I think the show is F*cking awesome! The "Ladies" are hilarious, I think the show will go far, hopefully!

Posted by: Shauna | Jan 22, 2006 10:48:16 PM

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