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Friday, February 03, 2006

JOAN AND BARRI’S TIPS FOR FLIRTING WITH COLLEGE MEN

1. BE CHATTY-Nobody likes a wallflower. Go on over and introduce yourself. Let him know you’re interested, by saying things like, “I’m interested. Wanna makeout?” The direct approach has really worked for us.

2. BE PREPARED-Your purse should be a treasure trove of flirt paraphernalia  - I have little perfumed cards with “Call me” and my number already stamped on with a lipstick kiss print in my signature color. That way I am never struggling to write numbers on a napkin in some dark parking lot or alley. Joan brings mints, gum, Listerine packs, Purell, safety pins and TUMS. We use all of these every time we go out. Joan says that offering a fellow gum is the easiest way to start a conversation.

3. SMELL GOOD – One of the things Joan and I noticed the minute we arrived at school was that young girls nowadays smell fantastic! The twins for instance each have their own delicious smell. One wears Dior Addict and the other sports Stella McCartney’s scent. So Joan and I went out and bought ourselves some youthful spritz. It’s less flirtwork for you when your scent already says, “Come here big fella…I’m clean.”

4. PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR – Don’t get stuck in a hair rut. I’ve seen some girls with the same tired bob for three semesters. Yuck! Mix it up. When a boy sees you in class with your hair curled and in a sparkly headband, he’s sure to notice you at a party when you have piled all your hair on top of your head and added a good helping of decorative clips. That says, “I take chances. I’m creative. Watch out!”

5. SPECIAL SKILLS – If you are especially good at something show it off! Joan is a master at cooking Bananas Foster. When she goes over to study with a boy she always brings it. I have a sweet singing voice so I’ve been known to belt out some Celine Dion while crossing campus. I’ve turned a few heads and probably melted a few hearts.

6. PLAY UP AN INJURY – Boys love to be valiant. If you have a recent injury, or even just an ache or stiffness you can use it to your advantage with a gentleman. Why not ask a football player to carry you into the Geophysics lecture when you have a slight sprain? We guarantee that that kind of closeness will start something.

7. LIP GLOSS, LIP GLOSS, LIP GLOSS! – Guys love the shiny stuff. It basically says, “I’m a kisser. Whose game?”

8. CORNER HIM – Whether you are in class, at a party or even outside at a soccer game, there is always a way to get him into a corner so you can flirt non-stop. Look for two walls coming together and then an object, like a plant or a bookshelf, to block any alternate exit. When he is trying to excuse himself ignore him. He’ll have to physically move you aside and that means physical contact. You win.

9. PUMP THE KEG – The movement is full of sexual innuendo and you get a great upper body workout. It shows that your independent and it also indicates that you might be a little looser because of all the drinking you’ve been doing. Pour some of your drinks into a potted plant if you want to keep your wits about you and keep the pumping frequent.

10. MOTHER HIM – Do and fold his laundry. Cook him a pot roast. Scold him for coming home late. Praise him for a good grade. Powder him after he showers. Anything a mother would do will delight him. Every college man is just a boy looking for some love and attention. If you follow the other nine tips he won’t confuse you with mommy.

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Is a freakin' hilarious show. Their blog had a post titled JOAN AND BARRI’S TIPS FOR FLIRTING WITH COLLEGE MEN. A few favorites (and ones I'm sure I'll put to use) 1. BE CHATTY-Nobody likes a wallflower. Go on over... [Read More]

Tracked on Mar 10, 2006 2:43:01 PM

Comments

1. Yes. Girls making the first move = HOT!

2. Ok, I never heard or seen that perfumed card with the "CALL ME" message, but that sure is one hell of a good idea! Eat that Martha Stewart!

3. Especially if their shampoo smells like coconut! Mmmm...

4. But make sure it's not too hairsprayed. I cant tell you how many times, a good moment is ruined by snagged hair.

5. Bringing over some alcohol with that Banana Foster wouldnt hurt. Neither would walking like Tyra Banks while singing that Celine Dion!

6. A gimp is totally pimp! Especially if it's a leg cast and they have to wear Daisy Dukes.

7. Especially the flavored kind...mmmm...anything berry!

8. Like I said...making the first move is hot!

9. Put your back into it, when you do this! Go slow at first and then work it fast...straddling the keg wouldnt hurt either!

10. Finally, the truth has been unleashed!

All in all gals, I gotta say...you got some pretty good tips...I can so see hot, sweaty sex in your near future!

Posted by: David | Feb 3, 2006 2:05:01 PM

I met my husband at college. We worked together and were very good friends. I will have to admit that I pursued him, and even asked him on our first date. I knew he liked me, but, was so gentleman like that he was almost timid.

He is a wonderful man, and we now have a son together. But, if I didn't make the move on him I don't think anything would have ever happened.

I noted that often the guys who are doing the pursuing are often not into things for the right reason. They are guys who like the chase, but are afraid to make commitments. Often, the guys who are more laid-back and take school and friendships mores serious are the guys that will make the best husbands.

What is life without an adventure! Best Wishes!

Posted by: EmilyRoseJewel | Feb 4, 2006 4:32:11 PM

Hello my hot nude ladies!

I love your tips! My scent is Dior Addict just like one of the twins, so I feel like I'm back in college already. Hot damn! Bring on the booze!

Much love from a devoted fan!

Posted by: Alicat | Feb 4, 2006 8:03:21 PM

All of the above ... I wish women were like that when I went to university.

1. Chatty is hot. Guys hate having to talk all the time.

2. Good breath .. okay ... having the digits ready, very intelligent. Guys hate being given fake numbers on the back of napkins. The prepared cards say that you're serious.
3. When I went to university, it was Poison ... meow.
4. Hair is always hot ... playing with it is an instant turn-on to college guys.
5. Skills are always something the talk about ... but not alll too important.
6. Playing up an injury ... hell yea. That will easily get you a pre-med or a nursing student. Guys love to take care of people.
7. Not important but helpful.
8. Cornering is essential. When us guys do it, it's sexual harrassment. We wait for women to do it because at least we don't have to guess.
9. HELLS YEA!!!! Beer chicks kick ass.
10. Okay ... all guys need to be mothered. I'm married now and find that I've liked that all along. But doing the laundry in college ... too much. Maybe clean up the room a bit or something. Doing the laundry is too creepy at that stage.

Posted by: freakboytxrngr | Feb 5, 2006 10:27:36 PM

I've found that knowing how to tap the keg can also come in handy. Bus boy skills really know how to impress the ladies...and boys.

Posted by: Puntabulous | Feb 7, 2006 12:29:30 PM

You people are rather weird and i dont think that the elderly should give tips to young girls because you people dont even know anything. No offense i think your show is funny and.......again very weird but i kinda think that some of your tips are a little stupid because half of them we all ready know to do and the other ones are just wrong.!!!!!!
Bye

Posted by: Kimmi | Feb 11, 2006 1:12:53 PM

sorry Kimmi (never really liked any girls named Kimmi anyway, sort of like Bambi or Candy).... but you know, if you realllly put you open up paid attention - these girls could teach you a thing or two. Kimmi, daaaaahlin' but your just a NOVICE, honey. We experienced ladies KNOW what we are talking about. LOOK< LEARN and LISTEN - I mean, hell, look at Demi! Niiiiiice!

Posted by: pp | Feb 15, 2006 8:09:34 AM

Wow! I used some of your tips when I went back to school at age 41, 8 1/2 years ago. A cute 21 yr old guy in my math class caught my attention and I zoomed in. My scent was vanilla moons (can't find it anywhere anymore, though). I wrecked my bike the third week of classes and cracked my kneecap--he came over and took care of me, fed me pain pills, etc. and carried my bookbag. It took him a while to take the bait-we were "just friends" but people were starting to talk about us hanging out a lot. One day I said, "Well, I'm the type that if people are saying I'm doing something, I may as well go ahead and do it, since I've already been judged guilty anyway." He took the bait! And he loved the steak and egg breakfast I fixed our first "morning after." We've been married 7 years, have a beautiful 5-yr old daughter and I graduated with a 3.8 GPA (I kinda had to curtail some of my partying a little to get that, but still managed to party enough). Anyway, I'm new to your show, but I love it already. It's more true to life than people might think!

Posted by: sturge | Feb 19, 2006 11:38:25 PM

Dear Joarri,
I love your show. I watch it every sunday. Every Sunday. I'm sure I make you proud. Just holler at your boy. Anyhoo,
STEAK. IT MAKES ME LAUGH. But virtually. As we say, "LOL"
and "ROFLMAO!"
And I love how you gals are so savvy with the lil rugrats, I just want to hug myself! YAY!
To add onto Sturge's comment, I too, enjoy sniffing vanilla. It really turns the boys on. Know what I'm sayin, G?
I hope to see a another episode involving the wild antics of middle aged women in college. Love the show! Toodles.
P.S. Do not call Kimmi a stripper! That's not very nice. Unless she was a stripper. In that case, carry on.

Posted by: Gregor | Feb 26, 2006 5:36:47 PM

WE NEED MORE # 7. Malcolm Rice is Hot.

Posted by: Marrie | Apr 10, 2006 10:22:15 AM

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