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Friday, February 03, 2006

JOAN AND BARRI’S TIPS FOR FLIRTING WITH COLLEGE MEN

1. BE CHATTY-Nobody likes a wallflower. Go on over and introduce yourself. Let him know you’re interested, by saying things like, “I’m interested. Wanna makeout?” The direct approach has really worked for us.

2. BE PREPARED-Your purse should be a treasure trove of flirt paraphernalia  - I have little perfumed cards with “Call me” and my number already stamped on with a lipstick kiss print in my signature color. That way I am never struggling to write numbers on a napkin in some dark parking lot or alley. Joan brings mints, gum, Listerine packs, Purell, safety pins and TUMS. We use all of these every time we go out. Joan says that offering a fellow gum is the easiest way to start a conversation.

3. SMELL GOOD – One of the things Joan and I noticed the minute we arrived at school was that young girls nowadays smell fantastic! The twins for instance each have their own delicious smell. One wears Dior Addict and the other sports Stella McCartney’s scent. So Joan and I went out and bought ourselves some youthful spritz. It’s less flirtwork for you when your scent already says, “Come here big fella…I’m clean.”

4. PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR – Don’t get stuck in a hair rut. I’ve seen some girls with the same tired bob for three semesters. Yuck! Mix it up. When a boy sees you in class with your hair curled and in a sparkly headband, he’s sure to notice you at a party when you have piled all your hair on top of your head and added a good helping of decorative clips. That says, “I take chances. I’m creative. Watch out!”

5. SPECIAL SKILLS – If you are especially good at something show it off! Joan is a master at cooking Bananas Foster. When she goes over to study with a boy she always brings it. I have a sweet singing voice so I’ve been known to belt out some Celine Dion while crossing campus. I’ve turned a few heads and probably melted a few hearts.

6. PLAY UP AN INJURY – Boys love to be valiant. If you have a recent injury, or even just an ache or stiffness you can use it to your advantage with a gentleman. Why not ask a football player to carry you into the Geophysics lecture when you have a slight sprain? We guarantee that that kind of closeness will start something.

7. LIP GLOSS, LIP GLOSS, LIP GLOSS! – Guys love the shiny stuff. It basically says, “I’m a kisser. Whose game?”

8. CORNER HIM – Whether you are in class, at a party or even outside at a soccer game, there is always a way to get him into a corner so you can flirt non-stop. Look for two walls coming together and then an object, like a plant or a bookshelf, to block any alternate exit. When he is trying to excuse himself ignore him. He’ll have to physically move you aside and that means physical contact. You win.

9. PUMP THE KEG – The movement is full of sexual innuendo and you get a great upper body workout. It shows that your independent and it also indicates that you might be a little looser because of all the drinking you’ve been doing. Pour some of your drinks into a potted plant if you want to keep your wits about you and keep the pumping frequent.

10. MOTHER HIM – Do and fold his laundry. Cook him a pot roast. Scold him for coming home late. Praise him for a good grade. Powder him after he showers. Anything a mother would do will delight him. Every college man is just a boy looking for some love and attention. If you follow the other nine tips he won’t confuse you with mommy.

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